Signs of an Eating Disorder

It can be very difficult to notice the early signs of an eating disorder, and therefore an eating disorder is sometimes referred to as a ‘secret illness’. Some of the subtle signs to look out for in yourself or your loved one include: becoming obsessive about food and calories, skipping meals, disappearing to the toilet after meals, changes in body weight, a change in usual behaviours, distorted views about body shape and size, excessive exercising, tiredness and difficulty concentrating, isolating oneself and withdrawing from social situations.

Eating disorders are complex and non discriminatory, meaning they can occur at any age, gender and background. There is no singular cause and it may be that you do not have all the symptoms of one singular clinical diagnosis. 

It is thought that approximately 1.25 million people in the UK have an eating disorder. The National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) estimates around 11% of those affected by an eating disorder are male. It is thought that 10% of those with eating disorders have anorexia, 40% have bulimia and the other 50% are experiencing disordered eating and binge eating disorder (BED). 

Eating disorders often start from a plan to make a positive change around health and lifestyle but can quickly become a compulsion or something that you feel you can't stop. Although most will develop during adolescence, it is not uncommon for them to develop earlier or later than this; some as young as 6 years of age but also in women in their 60s.

Signs and symptoms 

  • Constantly thinking about and planning food.

  • Worrying about your weight all the time

  • Noticing your breathing or heart rate changing (feeling anxious) when around food.

  • Feeling anxious when others talk about food or meals

  • Continued weight loss

  • Feeling like you need to 'get rid' of the food you have eaten

  • Cutting out treats and snack and not being able to reintroduce them

  • Having foods that you just can't eat because it makes you worry

  • Feeling the need to exercise when you might not want to or feeling that you have to exercise to "counteract" what you have eaten

  • Feeling out of control like you can't stop eating

  • Feeling of anger when asked to eat

  • A general feeling of low mood

How to talk to a loved one about an eating disorder if you are worried about them or they don’t want help:

  • Choose a place where you both feel safe and won’t be disturbed, try to have the conversation 1:1

  • Choose a time when neither of you feels angry or upset. Avoid any time just before or after meals.

  • Have some information with you that you can refer to if you’re able to. You could share it with them, or leave it with them to look at by themselves.

  • Try not to use language that could feel accusatory. “I wondered if you’d like to talk about how you’re feeling” is a gentler approach than “You need to get help”, for example.

  • They may be angry and defensive. Try to avoid getting angry in response, and don’t be disheartened or put off. Reassure them that you’ll be there when they’re ready, and that your concern is their wellbeing.

  • Be gentle but firm, and clear that the reason you’ve raised this is not to criticise – it’s that you’re concerned and care for them.

  • If they acknowledge that they need help, encourage them to seek it as quickly as possible.

  • If they tell you there’s nothing wrong, even if they seem convincing, keep an eye on them and keep in mind that they may be ill even if they don’t realise it. Denial that there’s a problem is common – in the case of anorexia, it’s considered a symptom of the illness. You were worried for a reason, so trust your judgement. Remember eating disorders thrive on secrecy so keeping quiet won’t help.

  • It can be helpful to explore their reason for not seeking treatment in a calm and supportive manner.

  • Reassure them that you want to see them get better and that you’re here to support them through treatment – they don’t have to do it alone.

How to support your loved one with an eating disorder.

This 90 minute webinar will cover how to navigate the complex topics of food, weight and shape with our children. We will consider how our own experiences can affect the way that we think and feel about these topics, and how we can approach and enquire about potentially sensitive conversations with our young people. It will cover the risk factors associated with developing an eating disorder and how we can support our children to have a positive relationship with food and their bodies. There will be ample opportunity to ask questions to two very experienced child and adolescent eating disorder clinicians, and to think about specific queries you may have.